Living in the Past

I had a opportunity to do something today that I haven't done in a long time. While I wish I could say it was..... well..... sex, it was not. I attended training for ISO 900? (I can't honestly say whether it was 9000, 9001, or 9002 - that is how little I paid attention) today, and took the opportunity to day dream. So as the instructor rambled on about the requirements for ISO, I took a mental trip down memory lane.

A fairly new employee at my company had mentioned to me the other day that they remembered me from my days playing little league baseball. That must have been in my subconscious, because that is where the day dreams started. Technically, I guess it wasn't really a "dream" as it was really just replaying memories. The good old days those were. My biggest concern was whether or not I could hit a good curve ball, or make the long throw from behind third base over to first.....

But as always in the past when I day dream my thoughts usually go to a certain girl I dated when I was 17, so we are getting close to this being 20 years ago. A lot of the general facts are a blur now, I think we went together for a year and 9 months, or maybe it was 2 years... but I think she was my first true love. I remember a lot of details of times spent with her, which filled a good half hour of my hour long meeting today. I was amazed I could let myself drift off like that for that long a time. I really enjoyed it, but afterwards I felt sort of empty. Melancholy I guess it would be. I always think back and wish I had done things differently..... but I was so young and foolish..... sigh. If I had a second chance with her today, I would do so many things differently.... I wonder where she is now. Probably married with 3 kids living in another state. Sigh.

Reality has returned. I know I have probably exaggeratedly romanticized these memories, the way I felt about her. And that is ok. They don't have to be 100% accurate, they just have to feel right to me, and give me a nice trip down memory lane.