Freak Out.

Have you ever woke up in the middle of the night and feel totally absolutely freaked out? To the point where you are wretching and dry heaving like you just saw a horrible murder scene in person? I cannot even put into words the feeling I woke up to last night. Pure terror? Total loss of reality? Those might start to describe it.

This has happened before. Seems like once every year or 2 I wake up feeling like this. And each time it seems worse. I can only assume I had a nightmare, but I recall absolutely nothing. I turned on the TV and hugged my dog just to try to get a grip on reality. It took at least a good 10 minutes before I felt like I wasn't in some sort of mental hell. It is roughly 19 hours later that I write this, and I still don't feel right. It was freaking disturbing!

I think the last time this happened I thought I remembered thinking I accidentally killed somebody.... but I have no recollection of any dream this time. I was actually wondering earlier today if I was possibly being attacked by a demon trying to take me over or something. Yes, I am definitely freaked out.

I haven't been sleeping well at all lately, and am very run down. I also have a cold or flu. I can only assume this had something to do with it.... I am sort of scared to go to sleep tonight. I really felt like I could have done something totally insane when I awoke in that state last night. Like run and jumped through a window or something (Thankfully, I live in a ranch home!). I felt like I had no ability to reasonably think about anything. I just couldn't settle myself. Weird. I guess unless you have experienced something similar, you wouldn't understand what I am talking about, how truly disturbing it was.