I Love Wikipedia

An example why. Would you ever find this in a traditional encyclopedia? I think not.

Just for fun

I started looking up famous people on US search. Amazingly enough, I got hits. I guess even celebrities can not hide from public records. I have to see if I can find the website I was surfing about 6 years ago at work to waste time. You could look up social security numbers of deceased people. I recall looking up all kinds of celebrities social security numbers. It was pretty weird.....

Rut Man

I have wasted countless hours the last few days trying to find anyone I can think of on the US Search website. I am amazed at how many people I used to know that do NOT live around here anymore. Pretty much most of them have moved out of town. One guy that I was friends with in high school who talked about going to Alaska someday has apparently done just that. A lot of others have gone on to live in warmer climates. I get sort of a sad feeling seeing that everyone has gone, and I have never left. I feel like I have missed out on something. I feel somewhat jealous. I don't know why I feel this way, but I do. I in many ways feel like I have never grown up. Sure I live on my own. But not having married, never relocated, being in the same job for 12 years (same company for 15), I really am pretty stagnant.

I guess I fear change. A friend of mine once called me "Rut Man", based on a comic strip character who was an average guy who was always stuck in a rut. I guess that is true. My life is sort of a big rut.

I don't want to seem ungrateful for what I have. I really do have a great life. I have a good job, a good house, family, a few good friends. I am fairly content. I still hold true to the belief that if I could find the right person to share everyday life with, I would have everything I need.... but I have yet to find her, or she is otherwise already spoken for (the good ones are already taken). Or she doesn't live here. Or maybe she doesn't exist....

ALRIGHT. ENOUGH OF THIS. I AM FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF. I NEED TO STOP IT.

Here comes that same old feeling again....

It is like somebody flipped a switch. I was really busy today at work, but pretty much as soon as I got home and sat down I started thinking about her again. Yes, her. From 18 years ago. I used to do this all the time. I thought I had gotten over it. I guess not.

I used to look for her number in the phone book when I got the new one every year. She wasn't the only one, but she was usually the first. I never did see it.

Now I know she is on the other side of the country. If I were rich, I would just pop in and visit. Or maybe if I were terminally ill, and had nothing else to do.... What would I say? I'm not really sure.

I hope this passes. I am sure it will.

The Past.

I hate it when I get like this. I have so much angst right now. Whenever I start to think about the past, specifically the people of my past, I start feeling this way. I feel like I would love to be rich or famous or something so I could confront them and rub their noses in it. I would seek them out, just for that purpose. This is a sad statement about my life. I guess I just feel rejected by the past. I am where I am now due to the people in my past rejecting me. That is what I believe.

Regrets. I have many. They have left their scars.

Internet Stalking

It amazes me how easy it is to stalk someone on the internet. The girl I was talking about a couple posts ago, that I dated about 18 years ago, has been found. Sort of. Online. In sites like Intelius and US Search, you can find anyone. I typed in her name (probably her maiden name now), her age, the address she lived at 18 YEARS AGO, and got a hit. Based on the data they show for free, I can tell she has lived in Georgia and California since then. For $40 I could get a full report, including marriages, divorces, roommates, bankruptcies, property owned, tax liens, small claims judgments.... pretty much anything and everything that is of public record. Frightening when you think about it. And they wonder why identity theft is so easy..... Anyway, as I suspected, she doesn't live here anymore. I wonder why she moved. Probably for a guy.... but wait, a brainstorm! She had an older sister. I look her up, and BAM, all the same city addresses!?!?! So I look up her Dad. What do you know, the same city addresses, except the last one. So they all packed up and moved, first to Georgia, then to California, a town called Newhall, just north of Los Angeles.... Still without paying for the report, not many details.... What purpose would it serve to buy it? Other than satisfying my curiosity, nothing. It wouldn't tell me if she ever day dreams of me, or thinks of me fondly.... Anyway, just amazed how easy it is to find someone, get all kinds of info on them. Scary, really.

When is enough enough?

I have been talking recently with a friend of mine about the culture of America(specifically corporate America). We both agree it pretty much sucks. It is a culture of greed. People are never satisfied. Always want more. Gotta grow the business. More More More. I think this culture (along with misguided technology) has ruined the fabric of our society, family values, etc.

The one thing that I do remember from my ISO training was the guy saying "Companies that stay the same are doomed to fail" or something of the sort. I actually have a contrarian view to this. I call it "Leave well enough alone" or "If it ain't broke, don't fix it". While I do agree that people and companies sometimes have to adapt and change to survive, I think that those who change for the sake of change, or those who change out of pure greed are ultimately doomed to fail.

A message to you out there who I might be describing (and you know who you are):

Stop and smell the roses.
As human beings, we are all equal in the end.
He who dies with the most toys does NOT win!
Think about what is really important in life.

Living in the Past

I had a opportunity to do something today that I haven't done in a long time. While I wish I could say it was..... well..... sex, it was not. I attended training for ISO 900? (I can't honestly say whether it was 9000, 9001, or 9002 - that is how little I paid attention) today, and took the opportunity to day dream. So as the instructor rambled on about the requirements for ISO, I took a mental trip down memory lane.

A fairly new employee at my company had mentioned to me the other day that they remembered me from my days playing little league baseball. That must have been in my subconscious, because that is where the day dreams started. Technically, I guess it wasn't really a "dream" as it was really just replaying memories. The good old days those were. My biggest concern was whether or not I could hit a good curve ball, or make the long throw from behind third base over to first.....

But as always in the past when I day dream my thoughts usually go to a certain girl I dated when I was 17, so we are getting close to this being 20 years ago. A lot of the general facts are a blur now, I think we went together for a year and 9 months, or maybe it was 2 years... but I think she was my first true love. I remember a lot of details of times spent with her, which filled a good half hour of my hour long meeting today. I was amazed I could let myself drift off like that for that long a time. I really enjoyed it, but afterwards I felt sort of empty. Melancholy I guess it would be. I always think back and wish I had done things differently..... but I was so young and foolish..... sigh. If I had a second chance with her today, I would do so many things differently.... I wonder where she is now. Probably married with 3 kids living in another state. Sigh.

Reality has returned. I know I have probably exaggeratedly romanticized these memories, the way I felt about her. And that is ok. They don't have to be 100% accurate, they just have to feel right to me, and give me a nice trip down memory lane.

I have nothing to say

I feel I need to post. I have nothing to say. I am miserable, and I could bitch about stuff, but I don't feel like it. So there.

The Insanity Continues

From the CNN website:
"Eleven people were killed and an Italian consulate burned in Libya on Friday during protests to denounce the publication of cartoons depicting the Muslim prophet Mohammed, sources in Libya said. Italians were evacuated from the consulate in Benghazi, Italian officials told CNN. Libyan television showed ambulances taking casualties from the scene. Demonstrations have occurred across the Muslim world in recent weeks over 12 cartoons of Mohammed that first appeared in a Danish newspaper and were then republished in some other European newspapers."

So here we are, and now people are dying over a freaking cartoon. These people are truly insane.

Old Dudes. What will we do when they are gone?

I've been told or stumbled across news of a couple of old Rock n' Rollers putting out new CDs in the near future.

Donald Fagen of Steely Dan is putting out "Morph the Cat" in March. This guy is definitely a weird dude, but I really like his stuff. The jazz-rock sound of Steely Dan and Fagen is still fresh and original today. I am really looking forward to this. I heard the first pre-release single H-Gang on one of the XM stations the other day. You can hear it on Donald's new (still under construction) website.

David Gilmour of Pink Floyd is putting out "On an Island" also in March. I think I am even looking forward to this one even more, considering we haven't had anything new from him since Floyd's 1994 Division Bell.

As much as I really don't like shelling out $ for CDs anymore, especially now that I have XM, I will probably still pick up both of these. Good music is so hard to find these days, gotta snatch up what you can when you can. When these 60 year old guys are gone, the pickings will get even slimmer

I'm on a roll. Getting Crazy with the Cheese-Whiz.

Just had to share this.

From the Lateshow with David Letterman:
Top 10 excuses VP DICK Cheney used for shooting his 78 year old hunting partner in the face:

Top Ten Dick Cheney Excuses


10. "Heart palpitation caused trigger finger to spasm"

9. "Wanted to get the Iraq mess off the front page"

8. "Not enough Jim Beam"

7. "Trying to stop the spread of bird flu"

6. "I love to shoot people"

5. "Guy was making cracks about my lesbian daughter"

4. "I thought the guy was trying to go 'gay cowboy' on me"

3. "Excuse? I hit him, didn't I?"

2. "Until Democrats approve medicare reform, we have to make some tough choices for the elderly"

1. "Made a bet with Gretzky's wife"

WOAH, Curling just got a lot more interesting!!!!

On a news break on CNBC they talked about the new fundraising calendar being sold to benefit the women curlers who pose NAKED (or nearly naked) in the calendar. The women of curling. YEAH BABY! The calendar is called the Ana Arce Team Sponsorship Calendar 2006. Here are a few samples:

http://www.teamtoth.at/foto/original/0000000053.jpg

http://www.teamtoth.at/foto/original/0000000054.jpg

http://www.teamtoth.at/foto/original/0000000055.jpg


I have decided I like curling. A lot.

The calendar is available for sale here.

The Clip XT

I forgot to post the results of my first Clip XT antenna testing. I guess I would give it a B. Not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it does make the MyFi usable in portable mode. If figure if the weather breaks again and I go for a walk around the block, that will give me a better indication of how well it works. But indoors I can actually get reception now, provided I am facing south and not moving around too much. I expect outdoors it will work well.

Ok, I am actually watching curling

I have tuned in the Olympic games on CNBC, and yes, I am watching curling. Such a bizarre game. Hey, at least it is WOMEN's curling. If it were ice skating, I would probably have to kill myself. But alas, it is curling, so I shall live. For those of you who don't know what curling is, I guess the best description I could give it is "shuffleboard on ice". This is a completely inaccurate description, but it is the best I can do.... I remember watching this as a kid when we used to get the Canadian TV station on cable. I must have been easily amused as a child, because this is pretty dull.... I bet it would be ok to watch if I were drinking or could place bets on it. :)

I'm a Loser Baby, So Why Don't You Kill Me

I have decided that I pretty much suck at everything. Even keeping this blog up to date. I am stumbling and bumbling my way through life. I wonder if I will ever get a clue. I doubt it.

Insanity.

Let me first say, I do not claim to have any expertise in the Islamic cultures around the world. I have no idea what it is like to walk in their shoes. That said, I still cannot understand how they do what they do.

The latest events involve the Danish newspaper's printing of cartoon depicting the "Prophet Mohammed" as, well, basically a terrorist suicide bomber - wearing a turban shaped like a bomb with a lit fuse. So while this is totally insensitive and inflammatory, the reaction in places like Beirut where they torched the Danish embassy is unbelievable. Gee, they wonder why someone would draw and print something like this, and then they turn around and do that. I have no sympathy whatsoever for the plight of their people. They have brought this on themselves. I realize this goes back to biblical times, and they probably did get a raw deal centuries ago, but the recent (really the last 30 to 40 years) crimes they have perpetrated against the rest of the world is only hurting them more. Why would anyone have any sympathy for them at this point? Whenever we see them burning an American flag, we don't strap on explosives and walk into mosques... After 9/11 I bet many Americans would just have assumed we drop a nuke on the whole middle east and turn it into a parking lot. But we didn't. (Instead we took over Afghanistan and Iraq - spending millions of taxpayer dollars in the process, but that is another topic).

Bottom line is, I just don't understand how they think they will make anything better for themselves by blowing stuff up (especially themselves).

I ordered my ClipXT antenna

Gonna end up costing $26 and change after shipping. All I can say is this thing better work. I went for a short walk the other day outside with my previously mentioned XM radio and the reception was abysmal. Unless I was walking south, I got ZERO reception, even out in the middle of the road, not obstructed by anything. Even when walking south, the reception was spotty. So I decided to spring for the dorky, wearable, third party antenna that supposedly works. Should get it on Wednesday according to UPS. Of course the weather is supposed to turn to crap by then, so I don't know if I will be able to take a good walk to test it out....

Winter Sucks.

Even thought this has been an extremely mild winder for the last month and a half, I still hate it. Just the lack of daylight is really depressing. This morning I was lying in bed around 7 am and it was still pitch black out. This was because it was very overcast. It freaked me out to the point that I got online and found some webcams in London and Miami just to make sure the sun hadn't burned out....